Monday, September 18, 2006

Behavior in an Ecological Nietzsche as Explicated in Zoology 101

Birds drinking cream from milk bottles in the morning in England as a learned response

Monkey tribe washing sweet potatoes in the river in Japan as a learned response

From 1958 on, monkeys washing sweet potatoes in the sea water at the beach for seasoning as a learned response

Throwing wheat and dirt into the water so the wheat will rise to the surface to be carried off by monkey welfare sponges waiting downstream as a learned response

Younger male monkeys and more than 1/6 of older females and all baby monkeys eating caramels laid on the ground every 18 months as a learned response

Male monkeys, sporting Reagan buttons and crewcuts, more conservative than female monkeys as an unlearned response

Shooting African baboon troops to cause avoidance of safari automobiles by troops absorbing survivors of a massacre, as a learned response

Male monkeys surprised by blasts from an airhose while playing with coffee pot rings naively in a lab cage and rescuing friend monkeys from the dire fate of playing with coffee pot rings naively in a lab cage as a learned response

Female monkeys overcoming reactionary and antirevolutionary responses to coffee pot rings and engendering consciousness-raising among friend monkeys in lab cages as a learned response

Monkeys eating strychnine and staying around lions dismissed from serving as role models for fellow monkeys as a learned response

Electrified floor grid with Mr. Edison's light bulb as a warning to impress monkey as an amateur lever-pusher, which is transmitted to monkeys watching the scene in horror through a glass window and also to entertain them as lever-pushers while watching movies, as a learned response

Monkey with a television camera on its face transmitted to movie screen where other monkeys exhibit similar physiological responses as transmitted through the ether, while eating popcorn, as a learned response

Isolated monkey who had never learned to relate also unable to transmit responses to the monkeys in the TV studio via wireless signals, while wearing a TV camera pointing at its face, as a learned response

—actual lecture notes I took one day in Zoology 101, spring 1977


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aieeeee! Nothing like a flashback at lunch to ruin your afternoon ...

Already, vague skittering of Antrhopology 101 are twitching around :)

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 12:35:00 PM  

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