KFC Now Healthier Than Ever

Oh dear. I just heard on the radio this morning that KFC is switching all 5500 of its restaurants to some new, healthier oil. What, is this so they can sell in New York City again? Or is it just a general move to keep ahead of those do-gooders who, having triumphed over Big Tobacco, are now maneuvering on a dozen fronts to save us from the perils of Fast Food?

I shoulda seen this coming way back when KFC changed its name from Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC— you know, so you wouldn't connect them quite so much with "Fried," as in "Kentucky Fried Chicken"? "Fried," as in, tastes good, like anything that tastes good it's bad for you, fried in tasty death oil?

I declare, by the time this trend plays itself out, vegetarianism will be the law of the land just as no-smoking ordinances are now, and we will all be reduced by federal mandate to a diet of alfalfa sprouts, mung beans, and tofu.