Unreal Estate

The other day I picked up a free magazine of real estate listings for northern Wisconsin. Which is, well, a long ways to the north of here. And I concede that many of these houses come with lake frontage. Nonetheless, methinks the housing market up North is somewhat unreal.

Some gems from the real estate magazine, and there are plenty more where these came from:

Yes, your very own 2-acre island in the heart of Catfish Lake. Power and phone are to the island [well, I should hope so!], along with older 2-bedroom cabin. Imagine the possibilities with this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. $495,000.

This home offers a huge recreation room with a bar in a fully furnished basement, 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, open concept kitchen/living room. $399,000.

3 bedroom, 3 bathroom home with southern exposure and 165 feet of sandy shoreline on Lake Superior. Architecturally designed with outstanding craftsmanship. [Looks like an undistinguished older house in suburbia.] $895,000.

Charming chalet home with 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, fieldstone fireplace, and ripple sand frontage extending around the entire peninsula. [Looks more like an A-frame cottage than a house.] Level lakeside area adjacent to wet boathouse provides perfect picnic and swimming area. The 3 stall wet boathouse has 2 bedrooms, bathroom, and woodburning fireplace. $1,275,000.

Beautiful Tomahawk Log home with rustic elegance. Sitting on 1.5 acres and with 200 feet of pristine sand frontage. 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bath. 3-season room [translate: in northern Wisconsin, you can forget using this room 5 months out of the year] with large deck lakeside. $1,600,000.

This is only the second owner of this "New Orleans" style getaway! [Q: "New Orleans"?! Is this really the best way to describe a house you're trying to sell?] Private and quiet and close to town— this gem won't last long! [Again, not the best wording to use, especially in association with "New Orleans."] $499,900.

2 bedroom authentic log 3-season cottage brings back the real Northwoods retreat. [translate: does it have running water? And you won't be able to heat it during the winter. But it's yours for only] $599,000.

The perfect makeover candidate, with an excellent location and good bones. Spacious family home just needs some elbow grease & updating. [In other words, the place is a wreck, but we'll let you have it for only...] $469,000.

I dunno, maybe it's just that I live in an area where housing is still affordable. But I'd have to be someone's idea of Bill Gates before I'd lay out several hundred thousand dollars for an otherwise none-too-impressive two-bedroom home. Lakefront or no.