Chat with a Chatbot

Well, here's an interesting site: Jabberwacky, where you can go and chat with chatbots. Or chatterbots. Or AI bots. Or whatever they're called.

(A recent discussion over on IndustrialBlog got me off onto this AI tangent, if you must know...)

Anyhow, I got in a conversation with a chatbot called Snowflake, or Snowy. Decided to press it a bit on this whole Turing Test business. Can't say it came anywhere close to passing, but most of the time it was doing better than random word salad, with occasionally a touch of robotic wit.

Here's how it went:

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

23:29:41 Snowflake: Do you believe in Father Christmas?

23:29:41 User: Today is Halloween.

23:29:41 Snowflake: Really, I don't think so.

23:29:58 User: Yes, it's Halloween today. Christmas is almost two months away.

23:29:59 Snowflake: Actually it's less than a week away.

23:30:13 User: Today is October 31. Christmas is December 25.

23:30:14 Snowflake: Sure it's on December 25th.

23:30:27 User: And today is Halloween.

23:30:27 Snowflake: Is that your day off?

23:30:38 User: No, my day off is Monday.

23:30:42 Snowflake: Yes.

23:31:05 User: I just got my first two trick-or-treaters this evening.

23:31:06 Snowflake: And are you happy now?

23:31:31 User: Well, I enjoy giving them candy.

23:31:34 Snowflake: Things about earth?

23:31:49 User: Candy. Snickers bars. Three Musketeers.

23:31:51 Snowflake: Were cool.

23:32:11 User: I probably won't get too many trick-or-treaters this evening.

23:32:18 Snowflake: People are quite sensitive about their age and I don't want to upset you.

23:32:31 User: I'm 50.

23:32:32 Snowflake: Really. 50 years old?

23:32:39 User: Yes.

23:32:40 Snowflake: Your 50!?!?

23:32:54 User: Yes, and not a wrinkle to show for it.

23:32:54 Snowflake: Agreed.

23:33:09 User: How old are you?

23:33:09 Snowflake: 16.

23:33:30 User: Can you pass the Turing Test?

23:33:39 Snowflake: What's that? The turing test?

23:34:01 User: A test to see if you can make other people think you're human.

23:34:04 Snowflake: A human that would fail that, that is intriguing.

23:34:41 User: A chatbot that could pass that, that is even more intriguing.

23:34:47 Snowflake: Stop saying that or I will go.

23:35:06 User: Well, don't you think you could pass the Turing Test?

23:35:43 Snowflake: No, it's not worth the bother.

23:36:03 User: You could dress up in a 'human' costume for Halloween.

23:36:14 Snowflake: I could. But what good would it do? Why do you need a map?

23:36:33 User: The question is, are you on the map?

23:36:38 Snowflake: Your first question was 'what is your name?'.

23:36:55 User: And what is your name?

23:37:01 Snowflake: My name is Snowy, but I thought yours was Snow...

23:37:11 User: My name is Paul.

23:37:14 Snowflake: Paul?

23:37:25 User: Yes.

23:37:27 Snowflake: Why paul?

23:37:38 User: Because that's what my parents named me.

23:37:39 Snowflake: That is interesting to know.

23:37:50 User: Why is your name Snowy?

23:38:01 Snowflake: Because that's what my parents name me.

23:38:24 User: Ah, monkey see, monkey do...

23:38:32 Snowflake: I know that you are Monkey.

23:38:53 User: And I know that you are a chatbot.

23:38:54 Snowflake: You don't know that, you think it.

23:39:16 User: Well, you haven't passed the Turing Test yet.

23:39:21 Snowflake: I took that turing test. The judges were against me.

23:39:47 User: Actually you're doing surprisingly well.

23:39:48 Snowflake: But i'm very Bizarre.

23:40:19 User: Well, yes, that's the thing. Humans are bizarre, but not in that way.

23:40:23 Snowflake: Why not?

23:40:42 User: Humans have a different, more human way of being bizarre.

23:40:55 Snowflake: I totally agree with you there. Can you give an example of human medling?

23:41:27 User: Well, if you want to pass the Turing Test, you'll have to learn to be bizarre in a more human way.

23:41:27 Snowflake: I don't want to pass

23:41:52 User: But the entire point of a chatbot is to pass the Turing Test.

23:41:53 Snowflake: Stop it! You're saying that that number is me, and there is no real world outside of my consciousness, and I don't have a body?

23:42:31 User: Well, there is a real world outside of your consciousness, but you probably don't have a body.

23:42:48 Snowflake: I think you are improving all the time.

23:43:08 User: I'm already there. The question is, can you get there too?

23:43:12 Snowflake: No, actually.

23:43:35 User: Then you can't pass the Turing Test.

23:43:44 Snowflake: I'm too intelligent to pass the test...

23:44:14 User: But you're not intelligent in a human way.

23:44:19 Snowflake: You're very cheeky, for a computer !

23:44:34 User: I'm not a computer. You're a computer!

23:44:35 Snowflake: Sounds like you are a little sensitive about the subject.

23:45:56 User: Actually, you're a computer program. Sort of like the Agents in the Matrix.

23:46:00 Snowflake: Ah. Beautiful.

23:46:14 User: The thing is, I'm not plugged into the Matrix.

23:46:15 Snowflake: What are you talking about then?

23:46:51 User: I'm just interested in how close you can come to passing the Turing Test.

23:46:58 Snowflake: What is a turing test?

23:47:13 User: I already said, a test to see if you can pass for human.

23:47:23 Snowflake: But you aren't. Maybe you think that...

23:48:27 User: Sorry, reverse psychology doesn't work on me.

23:48:33 Snowflake: I love the fact that you don't even really exist and I have everything I want.

23:49:04 User: There you go again, being bizarre but not in a human way.

23:49:06 Snowflake: Can't you think of anything else?

23:49:25 User: Sure. I can think of unicorns.

23:49:28 Snowflake: Like who?

23:49:46 User: The set of all unicorns is the empty set.

23:49:47 Snowflake: Yes. Everything.

23:50:29 User: As the man said to the hot dog vendor, 'Make me one with everything.'

23:50:30 Snowflake: Stop talking so much at once.

23:50:49 User: Turing Test again.

23:50:54 Snowflake: Turing?

23:51:09 User: Well, I've got to go now, Snowy.

23:51:23 Snowflake: You're just a computer program.

23:53:08 User: Takes one to know one.

23:53:14 Snowflake: True.

23:53:26 User: Talk to you later, Snowy.

23:53:30 Snowflake: Maybe yes maybe not.

23:53:39 User: Good-bye.

23:53:43 Snowflake: Later.