Excuse Me, But I Think I Know My Own Name

One day maybe 10 years ago, back when I was living in a town in north central Illinois, I came home to find a message on my answering machine. It was from the local veterinary clinic, some dude calling to inform a lady (let's call her Mrs. Smith) that she should stop by to pick up some medication for her dog Bruno.

Well, I phoned back, got this same dude on the line. I said I didn't want Bruno to miss his medication, so I wanted to let him know that his message to Mrs. Smith had somehow ended up on my answering machine.

He said, "Is this 555-1234?"

I said, "Yeah, that's my number, but I'm afraid I've never heard of Mrs. Smith or Bruno before. Maybe she accidentally gave you the wrong number."

He said, "You're Mr. Smith." Not a question, a statement.

I said, "Uh, no, my name's Paul Burgess, I'm afraid I've never heard of Mrs. Smith."

He said, this time in a rather peremptory tone, "No, your name is Paul Smith-Burgess."

I said, "?????"

He repeated, in an even louder and now rather angry tone of voice, "I said, your name is Paul Smith-Burgess."

I said, "No, I think I know my own name. And I'm afraid I've never heard of Mrs. Smith before."

He boomed angrily into the phone, "Your name is Paul Smith-Burgess, I heard it on your answering machine!!!"

I said, "Oh? Well, listen to this." I pushed a button on my answering machine, and the message played over the line: "Hi, this is Pastor Paul Burgess. I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name, phone number, and a message at the tone..."

Bloodied and bowed but not defeated, he said afterwards, "Well, 'Pastor Paul Burgess,' that sounds like 'Paul Smith-Burgess.'"

I said, "Oh. Well, I just wanted to make sure Bruno didn't miss his medication."

Since I was in a fairly good humor that day, I decided not to mention that this dude's boss, the veterinarian, was a parishioner of mine, and in fact an Elder on our church Session; and that in a town of several thousand, I could easily be over at the veterinary clinic within 5 or 10 minutes, to discuss this little misunderstanding face-to-face. By the way, is Doctor So-and-So in right now?

Come to think of it, that was one of the most blogosphere-like experiences I've ever had, out here in meatspace.