Telemarketers Again

Back when the Federal Do Not Call list first became available, I signed up immediately. And I remember when it went into effect— all of a sudden, blessed peace. No more damn telemarketers phoning while I was taking a nap, or right as I was taking a pizza out of the oven for dinner.

For a long time, I had surcease from telemarketers, with the allowed exceptions of politicians, pollsters, and charities. For well over a year, I virtually never received a call from a telemarketer who shouldn't be phoning me.

But now, just within the past few months, the telemarketers have been creeping back in, as if they're so hellbent on violating our private space that they just can't resist, law or no law. Indeed, lately it's gotten so I've been receiving an illegal telemarketing call almost every day.

One feature all the new telemarketing calls have in common is that they're prerecorded messages. No live voice on the other end. I suppose that way you can't tell them to go take a hike. Also, these recordings cannot be cut off until they're finished. I keep trying to hang up on them, and I cannot sever the connection. The voice just keeps prattling on. Since some of these messages run a good 30 to 45 seconds, you tell me what would happen if someone suddenly suffered a heart attack and had to call 911.

These past few months, I keep getting one recording that opens, "Are you and everyone in your office lucky! You've just won an all expenses paid trip to Branson..." Another repeat offender is a recording telling me that I've just won a free trial period with a set of golf clubs. Since I'm not a golfer, I'm just like, yeah, will you get off the line already?!

This past week or two, the pace of these calls has really been stepping up. Now I've been getting a call from some credit foundation that wants to help me with my finances— ah, I remember they were one of the more egregious pests back in the days before the Do Not Call list. And just the other day, I got a— guess what?— prerecorded message trying to sell me on getting satellite TV.

What, do these outfits think that when they brazenly flout the law and call those of us who are on the federal Do Not Call list, we're going to slap our foreheads and say, "Gee, I never wanted to be bothered by a telemarketer again, but since you called me, I think I'll buy something from you anyway"?

No. Not on your life. What part of "Do Not Call" don't these telemarketers understand? (Answer: The word "Not".) I for one hope that the law gets on their case, and busts them but good.