It's Another Meme!

Well, Caltechgirl tells me I'm it in the latest meme. So here goes:

If I could be a scientist... I'd probably be an astronomer, searching for extrasolar planets.

If I could be a farmer... I'd be on my tractor out in the fields right about now.

If I could be a musician... I'd still be doing 60s rock music.

If I could be a doctor... I'd still be making housecalls.

If I could be a painter... I'd do big public murals, like something out of the public works projects of the 1930s.

If I could be a gardener... I'd see if this time I could grow carrots larger than my thumb.

If I could be a missionary... come to think of it, I am a missionary, more or less. Here in this corner of northeasternmost Iowa and southeasternmost Minnesota.

If I could be a chef... I'd finally learn to cook.

If I could be an architect... I'd design buildings built for the human spirit, with finials and cornices and columns and ogees and domes and oculi and grandeur and majesty. In an attempt to fight back against those who would dispirit and demoralize us with the ugly concrete slabs of soulless modernity.

If I could be a linguist... I would study the phenomenon of conlangs or constructed languages.

If I could be a psychologist... I'd study the psychology of double binds, and of how we try to deceive others in order to gain allies in the attempt to deceive ourselves.

If I could be a librarian... I'd stock the shelves with old books, fun books, technical books, banned books, classic books, funky books, picture books, grand books, books of the moment, books for the ages, profound books, obscure books, and just in general plenty of books.

If I could be an athlete... LOL! Sad to say, I absolutely cannot picture this one...

If I could be a lawyer... I'd launch a massive class action lawsuit against the legal profession, for intolerably gumming up the works of law, politics, government, culture, and everyday life. I would do this in an attempt to bankrupt, disbar, and put out of business every lawyer in the United States, so that the law-abiding 98% of us could get back to living our lives with a working balance of decency and common sense.

If I could be an innkeeper... I'd run a lodge way up in the mountains, somewhere out West. Preferably in the Cascade Mountains of Washington or Oregon.

If I could be a professor... I'd teach a course on the semiotic of the late 19th and early 20th century American logician and philosopher of science, Charles Sanders Peirce.

If I could be a writer... I'd write a big, overstuffed, rambling book, that ambled round and about and never quite got there. The sort of book you could dive into at any point, and just lose yourself in it. Y'know, sort of like the Essays of Montaigne, or something.

If I could be a llama-rider... I'd listen to Winamp. ;-)